Alone with a gambling problem? Where to find people who get it

Start here: Nobody knows. Nobody to tell tonight.

"I have no one to talk to about this." "Everyone just says stop." "Nobody I know would understand." Feeling totally alone with gambling comes up again and again when people talk about it, and it makes everything harder. The urge is louder when there is no one to say it to.

You do not need to tell anyone you know to stop feeling alone with it. There are people whose whole job, or whole reason for meeting, is to listen to exactly this.

If you feel unsafe or are thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 now (in Canada, 9-8-8). If you are in danger, call your local emergency number. The full list of lines by country is at the bottom of this page.

Tonight

1. Talk to a helpline. In the US, the National Problem Gambling Helpline is 1-800-MY-RESET (1-800-697-3738). Call, text or chat, 24/7, free and confidential. In the UK, GamCare is on 0808 8020 133, free, 24/7. In Canada, there is no single national gambling line; the lines by province are at the bottom of this page. You do not need to give your name.
2. Text if talking feels like too much. You can type it instead of saying it. Read text a gambling helpline instead of calling.
3. Write it down. If you are not ready to reach anyone, write one sentence: "I am alone with this and it is heavy." Getting it out of your head counts.

People who have been there

Some of what helps is talking to people who have felt the same pull:

• Gamblers Anonymous holds meetings for people who want to stop gambling. Find one at gamblersanonymous.org (in the UK, gamblersanonymous.org.uk). You can go and just listen.
• Gambling Therapy (gamblingtherapy.org) offers free online support, including chat and forums, so you can read what others have written before you say anything.
• Recovery forums and online groups can feel easier late at night. Take what helps and leave what does not, and never share account details or lend or borrow money with anyone there.

You do not have to speak at a meeting or post in a forum. Reading other people say what you have been thinking can be enough to feel less alone.

When people say "just stop"

People who have not been through it often mean well and still say the wrong thing. "Just delete the app." "Just stop." It can make you feel more alone than saying nothing.

It may help to give them one specific thing to do instead: "I do not need advice. Can you just check in with me on Sunday nights?" If they cannot give you that, find it somewhere else, from a helpline or a group, and do not take their words as the last word.

Telling one person, when you are ready

You might find, after talking to strangers, that you want one person you know on your side. That is your choice and your timing. If you want to keep it private for now, stopping without telling anyone is a real option. If you want to tell a partner, how to tell your partner has words you can use.

Fill the quiet hours

Being alone is hardest in the hours betting used to fill: late at night, a quiet shift, a weekend with nothing planned. Plan one thing for those hours that puts you near people or keeps your hands busy. Gambling out of boredom and the urge to gamble at night have ideas.

If it gets heavy

Loneliness and gambling losses can pile up on each other. If you start to feel like it would be easier not to be here, call or text 988 (9-8-8 in Canada) before anything else. In the UK, call Samaritans on 116 123. A trained person will answer.

Pause before the next bet

Hold The Bet is free with no account. It shows your own number and reason and holds a 30 second pause before you bet, with a one tap text to someone you trust.