Letting someone you trust hold your money while you stop gambling

Start here: Someone else holds the cards for now.

"My partner looks after my cards now." "My brother gives me what I need for the week." Some people who are trying to stop say that having someone else hold the money helps, because the money sitting in your account is part of what pulls them back to the app.

It can feel like losing control. It can also be the opposite: you are the one deciding to put a gap between the urge and the money. This page is about setting it up in a way that is fair, private where you want it to be, and easy to change later.

If you feel unsafe or are thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988 now (in Canada, 9-8-8). If you are in danger, call your local emergency number. The full list of lines by country is at the bottom of this page.

Pick the right person

The person who helps with your money should be someone you trust and who treats you with respect. A partner, a parent, a sibling or a close friend can all work. Before you ask, think about:

• Will they stay calm if you tell them about a bad night, or would it turn into a fight every time?
• Can they keep it between the two of you if that is what you want?
• Is this safe for you? If someone in your life has ever used money to control or hurt you, they are not the right person for this. A helpline counsellor can help you think through other options.

Decide what they hold

You do not have to hand over everything. Start with whatever gets you to the bet fastest:

1. The card you bet with. Remove it from your phone wallet and your betting accounts, and they keep the physical card.
2. Your spare money. Set bills and rent to go out on their own on payday, if your bank allows it. Keep the rest in an account in your own name that is harder to reach, let them see it if you both want that, and agree how much you keep for the week.
3. Passwords and passcodes. They set the blocking passcode on your phone. The steps are in stop betting on your phone.
4. A second pair of eyes. If you would rather keep the cards, you can agree to share your statements once a week instead.

Your bank may also be able to block gambling payments on your cards. Read ask your bank to block gambling. A bank block and a trusted person can sit side by side.

Make the agreement out loud

A short, clear agreement stops it from turning into arguments later. Write it in a note you both keep:

• What they hold and what you keep.
• How you ask for extra money for something real, and how quickly they will answer.
• How long you will try it. A few weeks, then sit down and look at it again.
• What happens after a slip. You tell them, they do not shout, and you both look at what went wrong.

You can say it plainly: "I want to stop betting, and having the money in my account makes it harder. Would you hold my card for the next month? I will still pay my own bills and I can see my own statements."

Keep your own dignity in it

This is your money and your choice to share control of it. A few things help it feel like teamwork rather than punishment:

• You still see your accounts. Being able to look keeps you part of it.
• You still pay your own bills, if you can, from the account the bills come out of.
• No checking up in front of other people. Agree that money talks happen in private.
• You can change it. When you feel ready, take things back one at a time and talk it through together. If it ever starts to feel like control instead of help, you can end it, and a helpline can help you plan how.

If the urge says "just this once"

The point of the arrangement is that the money is not there in the moment. When you catch yourself planning how to get the card back tonight, that is the urge talking. Use the next ten minutes, then talk to your person in the morning.

If you do not have anyone to ask

That is common, and it does not mean you cannot do this. Use the tools that do not need another person: a bank block, self exclusion, and blocking the sites. A gambling helpline can also point you to free, not for profit debt advice in your area. If you feel alone with all of this, read alone with a gambling problem.

Pause before the next bet

Hold The Bet is free with no account. It shows your own number and reason and holds a 30 second pause before you bet, with a one tap text to the person who is helping you.