Helping someone who bets
You cannot stop someone else's betting for them, but you can make it easier for them to stop. Pick a calm moment, say what you have noticed without blame, and offer one concrete thing, such as setting up a block together. Protect shared money. And look after yourself too: helplines support family and friends as well as the person betting.
If tonight is hard: call or text 988 (US/Canada) or 1-800-MY-RESET (US), 24/7. If you are in danger, call your local emergency number.
Guides on this topic
- Your husband is sports betting. What to do tonight.Your husband is sports betting. What helps tonight, what makes it worse, and the one message you can send that does not start a fight.
- Your wife or girlfriend is gambling. What to do tonight.What helps and what makes it worse when someone you love is gambling, what to say tonight, and how to protect yourself while you work it out.
- How to help a friend who bets too muchHow to help a friend who bets too much without taking over: what to say, what to avoid, and how to look after yourself while you do.
- How to tell your partner you have been gamblingHow to tell your wife, husband or partner about gambling in a way that opens the conversation instead of ending it, with the words to start with.
- How to rebuild trust after gambling and lying about itYou told them, or they found out. Trust comes back through small things done again and again, not one big promise. What that can look like, week by week.
- Want to stop betting but not ready to tell anyone?You can start tonight without telling anyone. Private steps to take alone, and a short way to tell one person when you are ready.
- Alone with a gambling problem? Find people who get itNo one to tell, or people who just say "just stop". Where to talk to someone who understands, tonight and this week, without having to tell anyone you know.
- Am I gambling too much? Two questions that answer it.The two question screen clinicians actually use, what a yes means, and what to do in the next ten minutes if you answered yes to either.
- Gambling helplines by country, verifiedThe real gambling helpline numbers for the US, Canada, the UK, Australia and everywhere else, each one checked, plus what happens when you call.
- Let someone you trust hold your money while you stopHanding card access or spending money to someone you trust can put time between the urge and the bet. How to set it up so it feels fair to both of you.
- Hidden gambling spending: how to see it and what to doIf gambling spending is hidden, even from yourself, here is a calm way to look at it, and a way to tell someone when you are ready.
Questions
- What do I say to someone who bets too much?
- Describe what you have seen, say you are worried, and ask what would help. Avoid labels and lectures; they tend to close the conversation.
- How do I protect our money?
- Separate accounts, bank gambling blocks and shared account views all help. The guides below cover each one.
- Where can I get support for myself?
- Gambling helplines talk to family and friends too. Call or text 988 (US/Canada) or 1-800-MY-RESET (US), any hour.
Hold The Bet opens a pause before the bet: your own reason, a 30 second breath, one tap to text someone. Free, no account.
Plant my seed